Our Perspective on our "Calling"

I'm guessing you have probably mistaken something your friend, spouse, family member, etc. has said in the past... right?  The english language is notorious for this.  People refer to entering ministry as 'called' to ministry.  My thought may have been similar to yours: God calls; you have to answer.  Or maybe, God calls you to do something you did not want to do, but after all it's GOD calling, so let's get on it.  Sadly, listening to person after person describe their call to ministry is where we develope this perspective.

In the beginning, last fall that is, when Tiffany and I first began deciding if God was 'calling us to ministry' we struggled with our perspective on the phrase 'called to ministry' or 'calling'.  I know not everyone perceives the topic the way we did, however, I do feel it is the predominant perspective out there.

This would be dictionary.com definition number 2:

2. to command or request to come; summon: to call a dog; to call a cab; to call a witness.

I would like to suggest another option.  dictionary.com definition number 3:

3. to ask or invite to come: Will you call the family to dinner?

Our relationships with our heavenly Father are unique.  Just as our relationships with each other are unique and dynamic.  Our Father knows us, He knows our hearts, He knows what is good for us.  An earthly parent may need to treat different children uniquely and even the same child uniquely for different situations.  

Our Father DID NOT call Tiffany and I to ministry by asking us the question - Do you love me enough to sacrifice what you have?  That's not to say He wouldn't do that; see the example of the rich young ruler in the gospels (Mark 10).  It may look like this from the outside in.  We sold my dream home (and what became Tiffany's).  A house on the water in my hometown of beautiful New Bern.  We walked away from a successful career with even more promise in the future.  We will soon move away from close family and dear friends.  There is sacrifice.  Beleive me, it has not and will not be easy.  But this was not the focus of God's call to us.

Our Father DID call Tiffany and I to ministry by asking us the question - Do you trust me enough to receive what I want to give you?  The Lord showed us the gain!  To plug in together in a way we never have before in ministry.  To invest our lives with a ministry that has had an eternal impact on our own lives.  To spend our full time and attention on investing in the next generation to reach the Nations with the Gospel.  To focus on my love and passion for personal finances and budgeting.  We were staring excitement and joy in the face and asking ourselves, do we trust God enough to step into what He's offering.  

I expect you can see the difference between the two.  Again, the Lord can and will use both depending on what the person's heart and circumstances call for.  But even when the first one is employed, may I also suggest that the ultimate end is still what you will receive not what you are giving up.  I do not believe God would call you to sacrifice or give up something for no reason.  If it's blocking your relationship with Him, He'll call you to give it up, but the end goal is not to give something up, but to gain joy through a better relationship with your heavenly Father.  So even when that first method is used I hold that the second is always the end goal.

What an awesome God we serve.  His plans for us are for peace and not evil; to give us a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).  All that He does works for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

In my opinion (which I respect heavily) a call to ministry is never dictionary.com version #2.  It's never a summon to obey despite your joy.  It is always an opportunity to participate in something for your joy.

I also love the verse Luke 10:2 And he (Jesus) said to them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.

I'll be brief even though this verse could be its own post.  First the point that flows with this blog post - the harvest is plentiful.  Again, it's for your joy.  We are sent into a plentiful harvest, not a bare and depressing harvest.  We will see the Kingdom expanded and lives changed.  It's joyful and optimistic.

Second- what can (and may end up being) another entry - laborers in this verse are not just people serving in vocational ministry.  Laborers are anyone living on mission for Christ wherever they happen to be vocationally called.

Our Story

Tiffany and I didn't have a song like many people do.  But Tiffany picked Stand Beside Him by Ed Cash to play at our wedding.  I definitely consider it our song now and I was listening to it this evening and thought about posting this tonight.  I love our story!  I love how we met and how God brought us together.

I was born in New Bern, N.C. in 1984 (don't worry, I won't cover everything between here and when we met!).  Tiffany was born in  Clinton, Iowa in 1985 (NOT Ohio, whenever I tell people for some reason they always think I say Ohio).  I was raised and lived my entire life in New Bern and Tiff the same in Clinton (both small towns of similar size).

I grew up in church and accepted Christ at a young age.  I went off to NC State in 2002.  Tiffany did not grow up in church.  She went to Iowa State in 2003.  My freshman and sophomore years, even though I had accepted Christ as my savior, I really didn't see my need for Christ.  I was a 'good' person.  I would describe these years as simply just living for myself.  Tiffany accepted Christ through Erica's friendship and witness in 2003-2004.  It was at that same time I was really starting to discover my need for a savior and turning towards the Lord.

The Lord continued to work in our lives as we both got involved with Cru on our campuses.  In the fall of 2004 I applied for summer project with Cru.  I had two criteria - I wanted to go to California and I picked the longest mission trip.  That was the San Diego Summer Project summer of 2005.  Tiffany applied for summer projects as well and did not put San Diego as one of her choices.  However a staff member on campus knew she wanted to go there and she ended up being accepted to the San Diego trip as well.

I am the least outgoing person you will meet probably.  However, I knew that my summer trip with 120 other college students was going to be miserable if I stayed that way.  So the second night we were there, with students sitting around and getting to know each other, I began introducing myself and meeting tons of people.  There was an empty chair in our circle and at some point that night Tiffany sat down in it.

I was asking for first middle and last names to help me remember names.  Tiffany Rae Gutierrez.  Our conversation that night included topics such as - Where is Iowa?  You love peanut butter too?!  Have you tried it on melted marshmellows in the microwave? (I asked her that).  Then my phone rang and I left.

Dating in San Diego

I honestly am missing details beyond this point.  I know we went down to the ocean and had conversations on the wall by the lifeguard tower.  I know we did a little skateboarding together.  We had talked about Tiffany's artistic background b/c I also invited her to go to an art gallery in Balboa park.  We invited others to go with us, but no one could.  When we arrived, it was closed but the children's science museum was open.... We went in and began knocking 5 year olds out of the way to play with the exhibits.

That day at the science museum really amazes me.  We have a sketched photo from that day and we just look like we had known each other for years.  It was such a comfortable afternoon with no awkward moments which, between our two personalities is a miracle in itself!  There was also a night where we went up to her condo (where 13 total girls were staying) and I shared with her the amazing treat of melted peanut butter and marshmellows!

Last Date in San Diego, taken at San
Diego Yacht Club

A couple weeks into the mission trip I asked Tiffany to date me and we went to Tony Roma's and walked down the beach for our first date.  There were some awkward moments that night :)  But it was a great night!  Later in the summer we had a second date to Old Downtown San Diego and on the way to the trolley we held hands for the first time.  I sound like a middle schooler, but since we hadn't held hands for about 6 weeks of dating it really sticks out in my mind as a special moment!  I can still remember the feeling today.

Our last date in San Diego was on a Friday night which would make it July 29, 2005.  We went to Coronado Island, ate at the Coronado Boat House, snuck into the yacht club and sat on the docks and walked around Hotel Del Coronado and the beach.

On August 4, 2005 I drove Tiffany to the airport at like 4 am.  She walked through security on the way back to Iowa with NO plans of when we would see each other again.  Dad had flown out to CA and he and I drove back to NC.  In October I flew to Iowa for the first time in my life.  Corn and no trees.  But other than that, pretty similar to NC.  Not too much sticks out in my mind from this trip.  I was in my final semester at NC State.  While in Iowa I spoke to the head of the Accounting department about their grad school program.  He gave me some tips on applying as an out-of-state student.

In November, for Thanksgiving, Tiffany came to NC and met my family for the first time.  (I had met hers in San Diego, she had met dad but no one else).  During this trip I told Tiffany that I loved her.  She said some stuff and about a million minutes later said... "And, I love you too".  :)  We had talked about not saying I love you until there was a ring and there was no ring...

August 4, 2006

I did purchase the ring the next weekend.  I flew to Iowa on December 26.  I had grand plans of proposing in Minneapolis on New Year's eve, but I couldn't do it.  I proposed in Tiffany's room at her parent's house on the 26th.  We shared our first kiss (I am so thankful we waited because it made that moment even more special!)  What an awesome day!  We set our wedding date for August 4, 2006 (Exactly 1 year to the day we left San Diego).

We've now known each other for 90 months (7 years and 6 months).  We've been married for 75 months (6 years 3 months).  We have two boys and tons of memories.  I can hardly remember what it was like to not have Tiffany by my side.  I can't even begin to imagine how it will feel 10, 20, 40 years from now when it already is so crazy how different we are today than the day we met.  How much more we know each other now than then and how our love has grown.

I love thinking about how we were 1,062 miles apart for our whole lives until the Father brought us together in San Diego.  Growing up with our own memories and different lives, all the while the Lord knowing we would one day be one.  I love Tiffany more than any words could ever describe!

I wish I had written this a little more fun to read and less facts, but that's how it came out, sorry.  Also, may be Tiff can fill in important things I missed, or different things that stick out to her that I forgot in another post or later in this one.

I couldn't find a video, so here is the lyrics to our song:

Halloween 2012

A little boy grew up in this world

Searching to find some things to make him smile

A little girl doing the same thing

While the Lord knew that love would find each child

And each child would find love

A love that grows

A love to last them as long as forever

So the search began while the answer was known

And here they are on this wonderful day together

So the two of them grew up over night

Ain't it funny how the time just slipped away

And as they both pursued the Higher Light

They found each other on the way

And he asked her for her heart

As she took his

And the love they shared would never be broken

Cause they were held together like the cross

That took away their sins as a token (of God's love)

Stand beside Him children

So that you can stand beside each other

Follow His ways, give to Him your praise

And you'll never have to run for cover

'Cause He'll be your shelter

How do you pray?

Who are we to go to the Creator of the universe with our requests?  Seriously?  Try getting a hold of the Pres. of the U.S.  Or even your state governor or a CEO of a large corporation.  And we take our pitiful requests to God?  We are blips that couldn’t even show up on a timeline of eternity.

But God tells us to come to Him.  He says He wants us to take ALL of our concerns and requests to Him.  Not only that, but He tells us to come to Him BOLDLY and in all confidence that what we ask for He will give us if we ask according to His will.  And that He withholds no good thing from us, but like a loving father gives us good gifts.  Wow!

1 John 5: 14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

Matthew 7: 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

He also tells us to come to him without ceasing.  He doesn’t say, I can squeeze you in on Tuesday evening in between Rick Warren and Billy Graham.  He wants us to talk to Him all the time.  He can handle every person in the world talking to Him at once and he can love each one of us at the same time as if we are the only person that exists!

1 Thessalonians 5: 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

Try getting that relationship from anybody else.  Even the person who loves you the most on this earth can’t promise you that type of relationship.

So approach the King of kings and Lord of lords, the Creator of everything that exists, in reverence and humility yes.  But approach Him also boldly, approach Him confidently, approach Him constantly and do it because He has asked you to!  Know that you aren’t bothering Him, but you are pleasing Him when you go to Him often with your anger, pain, joy, excitement, love, disappointment, etc.  What an awesome Father we have.

Philippians 4: 4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.